I wish I knew this kind of freedom. Polly wrote a comment that said "Come and live in London! You'll never look back!" Ohhh Polly I wish!!!! I'm too chicken to do anything like this.
One of my biggest weaknesses is this... and it's hard for me to admit this...but my whole life I have depended on someone else. My mother never worked so she spoiled us growing up. We never had to learn to cook or clean - she always had everything ready for us. I never went away to college, I moved from my parent's house to Philip's house and never lived alone or with any room mates. Philip spoils me - he cooks and he cleans (I know he's amazing right? :) I'm not your average housewife by any means!
I think part of the reason I'm so dependent is because I am twin and I leaned heavily on Micaela growing up ( I still do!). My mom always says that I always reached for Micaela, that I was always trying to hold her hand when we were babies. See there I am on the left trying to make Micaela hold my hand. If you look through our baby albums even when we were tiny tiny I was reaching for her.
On our first day of kindergarten I cried and cried and Micaela just gave me some M&M's to make me feel better. I followed her all the way to her classroom and never said a word that we had different teachers. I just sat right next to her until her teacher realised I didn't belong in her classroom and took me to my own home room. I just wanted to stay with my twinkie.
I think that's why I had such a hard time when she moved away in January. I'm so proud of Micaela that she had the courage to follow her heart and move away from Texas - the state she loves with all her heart. I just don't have that kind of bravery. I've never moved away from home. I dream of escaping sometimes...living the life I just knew I was going to and had planned out ever since I was 10. That's why this particular post secret appealed so much to me. And who knows....maybe one day I'll suddenly be brave.
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