Nostalgic

With the dreaded heartbreak of having to say goodbye to my brother Chet and his beautiful family looming over me (I am SO sad that they will fly back to Germany tomorrow. I already miss my Mikey & Milen!), I started thinking about how hard it is for me to let go of things.

Confession: I'm a bit of a pack rat. Not to the extreme that I should be featured on Hoarders or anything, but I can't throw anything away! For instance, just now I was organizing some files at work. I've been at my current job for nearly two years and over those two years I've accumulated lots of paperwork. I still can't bring myself to throw anything away. Even old notebooks and calendars. I don't even need it, but I feel "safe" knowing it's tucked away in my desk or filed away in a folder in my filing cabinet.

Even at home I've kept school things (folders, text books, notebooks etc) from not only college, but high school. Why I want to hold on to these things I have no idea. I can't bring myself to get rid of some of my clothes that I wore back then that I will never be able to fit into again (UGH to be that size again!), a pair of old ratty Nike trainers sits in the back of my closet that are so WORN out - yet I can't throw them away because they took me all over these beautiful places I have been to on vacation. I saved receipts from said vacations. I never delete emails from my inbox. I keep every book I've read on my book shelf even if it's a book I didn't even particularly enjoy.

I feel the need to save everything.

I totally get this postsecret from last week:

I thought I was the only one who thinks like this!

This past week I've been feeling very nostalgic. Maybe it has something to do with Robbie rejoining Take That. I know it has A LOT to do with a certain someone - a person I can't ever seem to forget even when I have tried in vain. And it most definitely has a lot to do with some sad news I heard yesterday about an old friend of mine, a friend I haven't thought about in a long time, but whose name I mentioned in a conversation with my sister Madeline the same day this person's life changed forever. Isn't it weird when things like that happen? Like our psyche really is in tuned to the things going on around us.

Sorry to be vague. I'm just feeling a bit "bla" today. A bit sad knowing it's going to be a lot quieter and emptier when the last of my family leaves tomorrow.